Plus: 'IT boys, hiss it through your teeth – Shut up, bitch!'
Quotw This was the week when investor interest hit ever higher feverish pitches as (not sure if you heard about this or not) Facebook prepares to go public.…
Weights and measures a 'uniquely confusing shambles'
Lord Geoffrey Howe of Aberavon has demanded that the UK goes fully metric as soon as possible, describing the current mix of miles and kilometres and pints and litres as a "uniquely confusing shambles".…
NSFW The Advertising Standards Authority has sunk its teeth into the Manhattan Bar in Stoke on Trent, for a Facebook promotion "likely to cause serious or widespread offence".…
Mulch shopping trip ends in 'six bags of anti-venom'
A Walmart customer required the urgent administration of "six bags of anti-venom" after a rattlesnake sank its fangs into him at a Washington state tentacle of the retail monolith.…
Getting your own back on technical seminar speakers
Stob The technical conference season is once more upon us. The speakers at these affairs spend a lot of time sharing their software design patterns and anti-patterns with us; as a regular attendee it seemed to me that we punters were overdue for revenge. Here is some of their own medicine.…
Quotw This was the week when the Oracle v Google trial over the Chocolate Factory's use of Java in the Android OS rumbled on, and the jury didn't help matters much.…
WH Smiths tills would only dispense receipts for 'The Queen's Knickers' for several hours yesterday, after a technical mistake in the tills screwed up receipt printing in the chain's outlets across the country.…
That clever Jony Ive. Not content with giving the planet all manner of lovely iThings, the Apple designer may also have given the world the first combined AC adapter/beer bottle opener.…
Yet another Teutonic politico fingered for PhD plagiarism
Yet another German politician has fallen victim to the increasingly common accusation of academic plagiarism. The German Education and Research Minister Annette Schavan has been accused of plagiarising parts of her research in the PhD thesis she wrote in 1980.…
Plus: 'Apple, please don't make stupid assumptions'
Quotw This was the week when, in technology's ongoing mission to look like saving the world is its number one priority and all that money stuff is just incidental, Facebook launched its option to let the world know that you're an organ donor.…
A California man is suing BMW and custom motorbike saddle maker Corbin-Pacific for an epic stiffie which he insists was caused by a "ridge-like" seat fitted to his wheels.…
'I can't walk. Please help me', sobbed second victim
A Munich nymphomaniac is languishing in hospital under psychiatric observation after two men suffered extended sexual ordeals at the hands of the rampant temptress.…
House repossessed? Please update your address details
It's clear that things are pretty rough in Spain, but we wonder if it's really necessary for banking monolith La Caixa to rub its customers' noses in it.…
Life celebrated at Bletchley as Reg reader crafts Android Enigma
The National Museum of Computing celebrated the upcoming centenary of the birth of Alan Turing with a lecture at Bletchley Park on Thursday night. The event, Turing and his Times, is the second of three Turing-themed events linking three of the top computing museums in the world*.…
Sticking with their casting policy of picking actors-who-look-quite-a-lot-like-the-character, the makers of the Steve Jobs biopic are in talks with tubby TV funnyman Josh Gad for the part of Steve Wozniak.…
Plus: 'We just want people to invent their own stuff'
Quotw This was the week when it looked like the case against Megaupload and Kim Dotcom could be brought to its knees on the mere technicality that the site had never been served with papers in the US.…
Indiana cops detained a "belligerent" six-year-old last week, after the cantankerous nipper kicked his school principal and threatened to kill two other members of staff.…
Nokia Pure - the "humanist sans" typeface of the Finnish mobemongerer - has won the graphics category of this year's UK Design Museum Design Awards.…
Probably won't kill Obama either, Secret Service says
Ted Nugent – the hunter, "conservative activist" and rock guitarist whose Marshall amps probably go up to 12 – has been fined for failing to finish off a black bear he wounded with a bow and arrow.…
A mix-up at a freight forwarding firm meant a dead woman's torso was diverted from a research facility in Florida and shipped to a wholesale shopping club in Massachusetts instead.…
Maverick Pentagon crazytech agency DARPA has awarded itself a firm pat on the back after a detailed examination of its second HTV-2 test flight last year, in which the high-tech Mach 20 glider was destroyed 9 minutes into the trial and crashed into the Pacific.…
In Steven Spielberg’s AI (Artificial Intelligence), Jude Law plays smoking hot Gigolo Joe, a male prostitute “mecha” – a new class robot humanoids of the 22nd century.…
Those among you who believe it's your human right to be paid to "read, tweet, surf the internet, check your email and sunbathe" should get your lazy arses into this job, which is offering hard cash to someone to do just that.…
Everyone has a novel in them. Sadly this includes Reg columnist Verity
StobSomewhere on the hard drive of every programmer-wannabe-writer’s laptop there is the first chapter of an unfinished steam punk novel. Here’s mine.…
Let's put Fraud Laws on the scrapheap - where they belong
¡Bong! Doubters, shut your mouths now - and nail them shut. Two great pieces of news from the US have validated Silicon Roundabout as the pulsating heart of a new British economy. And a whole new way of doing capitalism.…
Vid Of all the devices making our working lives harder, printers take top billing. Never mind computers that crash mid-PowerPoint or smartphones that inexplicably can’t find the network – these, at least, are complicated, multi-function devices with a lot going on.…
Reader pitches invited for imaginary cinematic outrages
Competition Our hunt for the worst movie ever proved highly popular with you, our beloved cinema-going readers, and the list of nominees makes such chilling reading that we began to wonder if it would be possible to shoot a film so atrocious that it would prompt audiences to run screaming from the cinema vowing never again to badmouth Battlefield Earth.…
It's widely accepted among those with a penchant for banging on about Atlantis, the pyramids and the bloody Mayan calendar that the Nazca Lines in Peru represent a vast alien spaceport hewn from the living desert by beings so advanced that the human mind would explode if it were obliged to absorb even a millionth part of their incredible knowledge.…
Sy-Lab and The Free Art and Technology (F.A.T.) Lab, a self-described “organization dedicated to enriching the public domain through the research and development of creative technologies and media”, have released a set of 3D printer files that will “enable complete interoperability between ten popular children’s construction toys.”…
Five people have been charged in southern China with illegal use of a kidney after a teenage fanboi in the country sold one of his organs to buy a shiny new iPhone and iPad.…
An IT worker caught on camera urinating on the chairs of female colleagues has turned himself into local police and been charged with criminal offences.…
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